Planning a celebration of life
What it is, how it differs from a funeral, and a running order you can adapt — plus the things families most often forget.
2 min read
A celebration of life is a gathering that focuses on how someone lived rather than the fact of their death. It can happen instead of a funeral, after one, or weeks later when family can travel.
There are no rules. That is freeing, and it is also why people find it harder to plan than a funeral — nothing tells you what comes next.
Decisions to make first
Everything else follows from these five:
- Roughly when — within days, or later so people can travel?
- Roughly how many people
- Somewhere to hold it — a hall, a garden, a pub, a beach, someone's house
- Who will hold it together on the day — a celebrant, or a person in the family
- Whether there will be food, and whether you are cooking it
A running order that works
About an hour is right for most gatherings. A common shape: people arrive to music they would have liked; someone welcomes everyone and explains what will happen; two or three people speak; a photograph slideshow plays; anyone who wants to say something is invited to; a closing word; then food.
Ask people to speak in advance. Open-floor tributes work best when two or three are already lined up — someone has to go first, and nobody wants to.
Keep the speakers short. Three people at four minutes is better than one at fifteen. Tell them the length; they will be grateful for the instruction.
The things people forget
Almost every family discovers at least one of these on the day:
- Somewhere for coats, and enough chairs for the people who cannot stand
- Whether the venue can actually play your video — take it on a USB stick and have it online
- Someone to greet people who did not know the family well
- A guest book, or a page address printed on the order of service
- Somebody to take photographs, so the family are not the ones doing it
- What happens to the flowers afterwards
The photographs
Photographs do more work at these gatherings than anything else. A table of prints gives people something to stand around and talk over; a slideshow gives the room a shared moment.
Ask the wider family for pictures early — everyone has some on their phone that nobody else has seen. A single shared link works far better than a dozen separate messages.
Somewhere to put all this
RememberedBy gathers the story, the photographs, the service details and everyone's memories onto one page — and turns them into a tribute video you can play at the service. Free to begin, and no page is ever deleted.
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